SO TELL ME ABOUT THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX

Sub-titled 'Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives', here is a book to achieve better sex in ten steps by a renowned sex therapist. Think about the last time you had sex. Who initiated it? When and where did it happen? What was off-limits and why? Did you lose yourself in pleasure and connection, or did you come away feeling disappointed or even ashamed? Ian Kerner shows you how to create a sex life that works for you and helps you figure out what's working and what's not, where you might be missing some elements. He also discusses many common sexual problems such as low desire, issues with climaxing, and erectile unpredictability - and how to resolve them. He begins with desire and the call to sexual action, touch, psychological stimulation side by side and face to face, exploring erotic themes, expressing your inner kinks, deep arousal for male and female, that orgasm is a journey not a destination, entering a state of revery and getting your glow on. Create sex scripts that confirm meaning or might delay ejaculation, and he touches on porn, trauma and pain and gender dysphoria. For adults of all sexual persuasions, this is a very popular psychologist, and the sensitivity with which he writes about such personal and potentially embarrassing situations is extraordinary. For example Ella, who still had a penis and as a trans woman was taking medication which made her need to pee a lot and how her newish girlfriend Gemma suggested she wears an adult diaper, and how eventually Gemma was able to give Ella pleasure and move in a more sexual direction below the waist. There are fantastic sentences such as 'Think of G-spot stimulation as adding some serious bass to the treble of clitoral stimulation.' And 'Speaking of vibrators, we're living in a Golden Age of sex toys' (now better designed and produced). 354pp, large softback.